Orthodox Church in America (OCA)
You are quietly, thoroughly right about things, and you've never once needed anyone else to confirm it. You find people who perform their faith a little exhausting — not because they're wrong, but because the performance is the tell that they're still working something out, and you finished working it out a while ago. You'd rather read Schmemann alone on a Tuesday than discuss Schmemann at coffee hour. You're obedient to your spiritual father, but no one else needs to know you have a spiritual father. You correct people once, quietly, and let it go; you don't need witnesses to be right.
Here's the thing about you, though — I genuinely cannot tell if you're a convert or a cradle, and neither can your own parish. Nobody's ever made you explain your path in, you've never asked anyone else to explain theirs, and your last name isn't giving anything away. That's not an accident of your particular parish. It's the whole design: American as apple pie, no ethnic flex required, no interesting backstory necessary. You could've shown up last Tuesday or been baptized as an infant in 1974, it wouldn't change a single thing about how you act at coffee hour.
OCA fits you because it was built by people trying to invent an Orthodoxy with no adjective in front of it, and at your parish, they basically pulled it off. Coffee hour runs on Dunkin Donuts and a grandmother who's been doing it since 1987, and if you ask what jurisdiction someone is, they just say "Orthodox" — like you asked something slightly odd.